BOREDOM HAS COMSUMMED Me

So I've been out of a job for a month now and I'm go I fucking crazy....I do nothing all day but watch shows and movies eat and sometimes go out. I know it was stupid of me to quit my job but what was I suppose to do be treated like dirt. I would get in trouble for the stupidest things. My manager was a fucking bitch, only cared about herself and would get mad because I "wasn't" doing my job. Like you can only tell someone something so many times and really it wasn't necessary. I worked at a clothing store. It was fun at first but became boring after a while. Wish I could find a job but guess its partly my fault for not looking for one. I just don't want to work. I want to go back to school but Id need money and doubt I could get some tho I guess there's OSAP. but who knows. 

I have gained way to much weight since I moved in with my boyfriend. I'm 210 pounds like ewww....I just want to cut it all off. But I cant seem to control my eating. I don't know maybe because I'm bored so I eat and not eat healthy stuff anymore. well once or twice, we would go out to dinner a lot and eat fast food...alone this week Ive eaten fast food two or three times. I just need someone to talk to...maybe I'll go back to writing and maybe that will let off some steam. I guess it'll be my online diary for everyone to read. Not that it matters like who would really read it...I have thought would people really care if I was gone would they really mourn like I dont care anymore I just want to lie in bed and do nothing but that gets boring wish \i could find something to do maybe volunteer or something who knows.

Skinny Girl Diet-day 1 limit 400 calories

love that pic
So day one begins. Woke up around 11am which is weird for me to do since I'm always up early but it was nice to sleep in. Was debating on going grocery shopping I did eventually go but I didn't get processed food yay me. Mostly got vegetables and fruit. I drank a lot of water today which is good.
I weighed myself this morning and was still at 165...so we shall see if I drop weight from doing this diet.
I've decided to weigh myself every sunday, so to move my scale and put it somewhere so it isn't in front of my mirror.
So what have I eaten today...well.....

Lunch:

• 1 cup fruit salad (pears, cherries, peaches) 0 calories
• 1 cup apple cider 89 calories

Snack:

• Kashi fruit & grain bar-pumpkin pie 120 calories

Dinner:

• spinach and fruit salad (blueberries, blackberries, strawberries, raspberries) 0 calories
• 3 tbsp raspberry dressing 80 calories

Total calories for the day: 289 I like the fact that veggies and fruit don't count

Also took the recommend amount of 2 pills before lunch and 2 pills before dinner....I just took the internal flush one so we shall see what happens....now to drink water for the rest of the night

Wow, it's weird that I wasn't all that hungry today. Guess it was the water, tricking my mind full and kept myself busy. I cleaned around the house, went to the gym for 1 1/2 hours. Went grocery shopping when I wasn't hungry cuz then I buy crap. watched shows and movies, and was on PT most of the day. 

Til tomorrow bloggers <3

So again I will try

This is my new "diet" I will try my best to follow it..
I am sick and tired of feeling like rap and getting nowhere. I have people telling me I am losing wight which is awesome but I don't really see it. I notice with somethings, such as I have to pull my belt tighter and most of my pants are getting big not sure it's because they have stretched (oh guess and silver why must you stretch so much) or its because I am losing weight. I noticed I am getting more muscle definition on my upper thigh love it.
So with this new diet, I will continue to be taking my hydroxycut green tea and have started using "flush the fat: internal flush" the as seen on tv weightloss product. It acts as a laxative but is more gentle. The co creator said she lost 75 pounds. I have read on it before but finally decided to get it.
So here I go once again to try to lose weight. I like this one because I don't have to count veggies or fruit my loves lol.
I already go to the gym at least 4 to 5 times a week and also do stuff around the house or go for random walks.
So wish me luck....I will post what I have eaten every night.

Hydoxycut-Green Tea

Directions:

• take 2 capsules 30-60 minutes before lunch
• take 2 capsules 30-60 minutes before dinner
• Drink 8-10 cups water throughout the day

Breakfast/Lunch:

• Cranberry walnut flax seed bagel     155 calories
• 1 tablespoon butter                         50 calories
• 1 slice Swiss cheese                       106 calories
• mixed berry and pomegranate juice 130 calories

Dinner:

• 1/2 cup pad Thai                            117 calories
• 1 Chicken Tamale                          155 calories

Snacks:

• 1 Apple Pastry                              110 calories

Water intake:

• 10 and counting

TOTAL Calories: 823 calories

 

 

So yet another brilliant idea

I went to Shoppers Drug Mart last night because I needed conditioner and body wash....I went to look at the vitamins and weight loss section....when I stumbled upon Hydorxycut. I always look at and IT WAS ON SALE
I was soo happy, that stuff can get expensive...I picked up the Green Tea version cuz it was the cheapest....yes I know the cheapest sometimes means the worst....but they are like 30 dollars originally.

So I have decided to take them. I will post my progress on here.....I will try my best to keep up with it and actually make a difference in my diet and exercise.

• I will take the recommend amount of 2 30-60 minutes before lunch and 2 30-60 minutes before dinner
• drink 8-10 glasses of water
• start off with under 900 calories....I know its a lot but I will cut back each week
• exercise for at least 2 hours
• weight myself every other day 

My life lately

I'm really hating myself lately....why because it seems like I can't stick to anything....my whole diet thing I was going to do yea last 3 days then I binged. Seems like that's all Ive been doing lately and it sucks. Work is getting to me.....I don't want to do anything and it's not like I do anyways I have no friends. I find myself doing stuff by myself ALL the time. Like today, went to the mall by myself. My so called best friend isnt around anymore since she got a boyfriend. My sister was working and she even has a life.....


No clue how I became to having no friends. I hang out with a guy when I can but still we don't do anything just sit around and watch tv, movies or drink. It's sad but I even posted an ad online seeking friends but only got this guy and he wanted to do stuff....like no I can find someone to fool around with but I just want a friend.


I'm finding myself getting more depressed over time and I need to find something or somewhere to make friends...it didn't use to bother me but now I see people on facebook having a life and having so much fun that I want that...then I get to thinking no one wants to be my friend cuz I'm a fat cow. Like who really wants to be seen with a fatty right?


But YAY me, today and friday's from now on is my fasting day.....I will try my bestest to stick to this and it shouldn't be too bad. I've been doing good haven't eaten anything just been having tea, water, coffee, and made myself a lemonade. 


I really need to start exercising again....I did pretty good today but sadly did not go to the gym. I will Sunday tho. But today I did:

• 100 crunches
• a good 10 minute stretch
• 50 squats
• running in place for 5 minutes
• and don't know what t's called but it's suppose to work out your back...You lay on your back and lift upwards

Oh my, I really need something to do.....oh why can't I have friends oh well back to watching more shows I suppose.....maybe go to bed early haha how lame am I going to bed at 10pm on a friday

Oh well, hopefully everything is better in blogger world

Ducki3 <3

finally got the reason why boy doesnt like me....and my meal plan for getting him haha

I was hanging out with my best friend who I've been in love with since grade 10. So like 7+ years I think. Well we've always hung out and we were happy....then he asked me to be his girlfriend and I was in heaven but it didn't last long since he said we wouldn't work out, gave no reason at all. We both like each other and everyone thinks we will end up together but for some reason we never last when we say we're dating. So, Saturday I go over we're hanging out with the guys (yes my best friend is a guy) and then it's just us and we start talking about whatever, then came up the subject about if he was sleeping with someone else I would be mad, yes I would be I can't tell him that haha. Then I tell him that I've already got it thro my head that we won't be together and that I am trying to move on....tho clearly I am not since I think about him still. He's like you have a great personality and you're the nicest girl and we get along great but there is a reason why I can't date you....I was like ok say it he said hed sound ignorant....and then I knew where it was going. He finally tells me why even tho I had figured it out. It's cuz Im FAT. he didn't actually say fat he said someone who is bigger. He is fit so he wants someone that takes care of their body.....and that's what Im trying to do is loose weight by any means. 


Is it silly for me to loose weight because of him? I want to do it for me yes but more so for him....So my plan is to not see him for a month and for me to limit my calorie intake by a lot and work my ass off at the gym. 


I am starting today....
my plan is 

•  have a meal replacement shake for breakfast and dinner 
• eat lunch consisting of no more than 300 calories
•  I am back to measuring and paying attention on what I eat. I will cut out sweets, processed foods, don't use a lot of salt, and try not to snack....

As for a workout, I want to go to the gym for at least 2 hours  

• 30-40 minutes of cardio
• 20 minutes of weight training 

and/or

• 30-60 minutes of swimming or do a class